Podcast Episode 16 – What Do I Need?

This is The Three Petals podcast hosted by Jim Trofatter. The Three Petals is dedicated to exploring the threefold journey of spiritual awakening, where awareness, embodiment and mutuality intertwine to create a vibrant, transformative life and represents a new paradigm for enlighten living.

In each episode, we’ll delve into what it means to truly inhabit our human experience, while opening our hearts and minds to the infinite nature of consciousness. Whether you’re completely new to this path or have been on a spiritual journey for years, The Three Petals will offer insights, practices, and compassionate guidance to help you deepen your connection with yourself, others, and the world at large. The Three Petals: Where the Infinite meets the Intimate.

Part 1: Do I Have Needs?

Lisa prided herself on being “low maintenance” which was really just a sophisticated way of saying she had absolutely no idea what her needs were. If someone asked where she wanted to eat, she would say, “Oh, I’m fine with anything” then spend the entire dinner silently spiraling because they picked a restaurant that served quinoa in ways she considered emotionally aggressive. She was the queen of pretending she didn’t need rest, support, reassurance or even a sweater while visibly shivering in seventy-degree weather. One day, during a spiritual workshop called Honoring The You, You Didn’t Know You Were, the facilitator asked everyone to share one need they had in that moment. Lisa panicked so deeply she briefly considered faking a coughing fit and escaping through the bathroom window.

After twenty minutes of nervous sweating and watching strangers calmly say things like, “I need connection” or “I need clarity” Lisa finally blurted out, “I think…think I need a snack.” The room fell silent. Then the facilitator smiled gently and said, “Beautiful. Can you say more?” Suddenly years of suppressed humanity spewed from her like lava from an erupting volcano. “I’m tired! I hate folding laundry! I need people to stop saying ‘We’ll circle back’ in meetings! I want to decide what’s for dinner for once!” By the end of the session, Lisa was sitting on the floor eating those cheese flavored peanut butter crackers you get from vending machines and crying with relief. It turned out her needs had not, in fact, made her selfish or spiritually defective. They had just made her human. Although she still maintained a healthy suspicion of stylized quinoa.

Hello and welcome to The Three Petals, a podcast dedicated to exploring the synergy of three essential aspects of spiritual awakening: awareness, embodiment and relationality. I’m your host Jim Trofatter and I’m glad you could join me today. In today’s episode we’re going to explore the importance of needs in our lives. Having awakened to the idea that there is more, one of the important challenges we will face is actually understanding what we truly need. We’ve been told by society what we should need, but many of us, especially those of us in the early stages of the spiritual path, don’t actually have any idea what we actually need as a human being on a daily basis.

Part 2: Needs versus Wants

One of the first and most surprisingly difficult questions we can ask ourselves on the path of transformation is this: “What do I actually need?” Most of us assume we already know the answer. We move through life pursuing careers, relationships, possessions, experiences, recognition, comfort, stimulation and security, believing these things will finally bring us fulfillment. But if we slow down and look carefully, we begin to notice that many of the things we chase are not true needs at all. They are wants, strategies, preferences or attempts to soothe deeper discomforts within ourselves.

Needs are fundamental to our well-being. They are the conditions that support life, health, connection and psychological stability. We need things like food, rest, shelter, safety, emotional attunement, belonging, meaning and love. We need connection with others and, perhaps just as importantly, connection with ourselves. Genuine needs tend to have a quiet, grounding quality to them. When they are unmet, we often feel depleted, dysregulated, anxious or emotionally starved. Needs are not indulgences. They are part of the architecture of being human.

However, many of us were subtly taught as children that our needs were inconvenient, selfish or less important than the needs of others. We learned to prioritize pleasing parents, teachers, family members or authority figures in order to receive love, approval or safety. Messages such as “Don’t be selfish”, “Stop crying” or “Think about how others feel” may have conditioned us to disconnect from our own inner experience and become hyper-focused on meeting the emotional expectations of those around us. Over time, this can create adults who struggle to even identify what they truly need, because they became so practiced at suppressing themselves in order to maintain connection, harmony or acceptance.

Wants, on the other hand, are often layered on top of needs. A person may want status, admiration or luxury, while underneath there is actually a need for security, self-worth or belonging. Someone may compulsively seek romantic attention when what they truly need is intimacy or emotional safety. We frequently confuse the external form with the deeper inner necessity. This confusion is one of the reasons why modern life can feel so exhausting. We spend enormous amounts of energy pursuing things that never quite satisfy us because they are substitutes for something deeper.

Consumer culture thrives on this confusion. We are constantly told what we should want: a better body, more success, more productivity, more followers, more experiences or more optimization. The message is subtle but relentless: You are incomplete, and fulfillment is just one purchase, one relationship or one breakthrough away. But wants are endless because they are often attempts to fill an inner emptiness that external things cannot fully resolve. This creates a cycle of temporary satisfaction followed by renewed hunger.

Part of the spiritual and psychological journey involves learning to distinguish between our needs and our wants. This requires slowing down enough to honestly ask ourselves: “What am I truly seeking beneath this desire?” Sometimes what we think we want is actually covering grief, loneliness, fear, exhaustion or the longing to simply feel alive and connected. When we begin identifying our real needs, something shifts. Life becomes less about compulsive acquisition and more about meaningful nourishment.

And interestingly, as people deepen along the path, their relationship to their wants often changes naturally. Simplicity becomes more attractive. Presence becomes more valuable than stimulation. Connection becomes more fulfilling than performance. This does not mean we stop enjoying beautiful things or meaningful experiences. It simply means that our happiness becomes less dependent on constantly acquiring something outside of ourselves. We begin to discover that many of our deepest needs cannot be purchased or achieved. They must be lived, felt and embodied.

Part 3: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

When we begin asking the question, “What do I actually need?” one of the most useful frameworks we can explore is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, developed by psychologist Abraham Maslow. Maslow proposed that human beings are motivated by different layers of needs, and that these layers tend to build upon one another. While real life is far messier than any model can fully capture, his framework gives us a powerful orientation to understand why we behave the way we do and why spiritual growth can feel difficult when more foundational needs remain unmet.

At the base of his hierarchy are our physiological needs such food, water, sleep, shelter, rest and basic bodily survival. If these needs are not met, the body-mind becomes consumed with survival. It’s hard to meditate deeply or contemplate enlightenment when you are starving, exhausted or unsafe. This is one reason why so much human behavior revolves around stability and security. Our nervous systems are designed first and foremost to keep us alive.

The next layer involves safety needs. Once survival is relatively secured, human beings begin seeking stability, predictability and protection from chaos. This includes physical safety, financial security, emotional stability and the need for a dependable environment. Many people don’t realize how much of their daily anxiety stems from unresolved safety concerns. Even highly successful individuals may still operate from a deep internal fear that life could collapse at any moment. Much of modern culture quietly amplifies this insecurity, keeping people in a chronic state of vigilance and striving.

Above safety comes the profound human need for love and belonging. We are relational beings. We need friendship, intimacy, family, community and emotional connection. Isolation wounds us deeply because, historically, isolation threatened survival itself. The longing to belong is not weakness. It is built into the architecture of being human. Much of our suffering arises when we feel unseen, rejected or disconnected from meaningful relationship. Many spiritual seekers eventually discover that awakening is not just about consciousness, but also about healing our capacity to be loved and love.

Maslow then identified esteem needs, the desire for self-respect, competence, recognition and a sense of worth. This layer can become complicated because the ego often tries to secure worth through achievement, status or external validation. We want to feel significant. We want our lives to matter. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, but if our entire sense of value depends on the approval of others, we remain psychologically fragile. Part of transformation involves shifting from externally derived worth to a more stable and embodied sense of intrinsic value.

At the top of Maslow’s original hierarchy sits self-actualization, the realization of one’s fullest potential. This is where creativity, authenticity, purpose and inner fulfillment begin to emerge more naturally. The individual is no longer solely focused on survival or approval, but on becoming fully themselves. Later in his life, Maslow expanded his model further to include self-transcendence, recognizing that some human beings move beyond personal fulfillment into experiences of unity, service, spirituality and connection with something larger than the individual self.

What makes this model especially valuable on the spiritual path is that it helps normalize where we are. Many people attempt to leap into transcendence while their foundational needs remain deeply wounded or unmet. They seek cosmic consciousness while ignoring exhaustion, trauma, loneliness or emotional instability. But the path is not about bypassing our humanity. It’s about including it. Awakening does not erase the lower levels of the hierarchy. It transforms our relationship to them. Even deeply awakened individuals still need food, rest, safety, connection and meaning. The difference is that these needs become less driven by fear and more integrated into a larger wholeness.

And perhaps most importantly, Maslow’s model reminds us to have compassion for ourselves. If you are struggling with basic stability, safety or belonging, that does not mean you are failing spiritually. It means you are human. The path unfolds through layers, and each layer deserves care, attention and understanding. And there are times in our lives when, even though we may be so-called higher on the Hierarchy, we may fall all the way to the first need for a temporary time while we go through a health or financial crisis. This is all part of being human and does mean that one has failed on their spiritual journey.

Part 4: A Modified Hierarchy of Needs

In my compulsive need to have more delineation, a long time ago, even before I saw Maslow’s changes to his hierarchy, I added some layers to his work. Being involved with yoga and energy work, I relate a lot of what I know around our evolution as spiritual beings to the chakra system. I recognized that some of the Maslow’s needs did indeed follow the chakra system, but the others did not. So, I re-arranged his hierarchy to make more sense to me and to incorporate a seven-leveled system.

Like Maslow’s original hierarchy, my framework begins with the recognition that our physical needs must be met first. If we lack access to food, clothing, shelter or other essentials for basic survival, our attention and energy will naturally be consumed by the immediate task of securing these necessities. There is little room for reflection, growth or deeper psychological exploration when the body is in crisis.

Once we feel reasonably assured that our physical needs are met, our attention shifts to the next tier: safety. In my adaptation of the model, however, safety is not merely about environmental stability or protection from harm, it is also deeply relational. We find true safety through belonging, by becoming part of a “tribe” or community with whom we share common values, concerns and goals. This collective provides more than just physical protection. It offers emotional resonance and social grounding. Within this context of belonging, we experience mutual care, others are concerned about our well-being, and we, in turn, are invested in theirs. 

After being in this space of belonging and safety for a while, we begin to feel a new impulse stirring within us. It is the desire to show up more fully as ourselves, not merely as a reflection or clone of the group, but as a unique and individuated being. This marks a subtle but significant shift from conformity to self-expression. We begin to test the waters, wondering: “Can I bring my whole self here? Will I still be accepted if I step outside the norms of the tribe?” We experiment with expressing our truth, stepping into a more authentic version of ourselves, not one defined by fear or external expectation, but by the quiet knowing of who we are at our core. When we feel safe enough in our own skin, our instinct is not to hoard our gifts, but to offer them, to contribute, to serve, to participate meaningfully in the evolution of our community and the wider world. 

This brings the next need that is associated with a deepening of love, not only for ourselves, but for others in their uniqueness as well. The more we embody our own truth, the more we recognize and celebrate the authenticity of others. From this space, love is no longer a sentiment or ideal, but a lived reality, a field of mutual respect, compassion, acceptance and creative exchange. In this way, the journey from survival to self-expression culminates in a form of mature, grounded love: a love that embraces self and other, individuality and community, service and freedom, all held in a larger vision of wholeness.

In time, as we become more grounded in our authenticity and capacity to serve, others may ask us to share our truth, not just opinions or learned knowledge, but the deeper wisdom we’ve cultivated through our lived experience. For many of us, this is both an honor and a challenge. As children, speaking our truth may have been met with disapproval, dismissal or even punishment. Parents, teachers and authority figures often, whether intentionally or not, signaled that our voices were “too much, too different, too disruptive”. So, when we are invited to speak now, as adults, it touches something tender within us. The need to reclaim our voice becomes not just a personal milestone, but an act of healing, restoring the trust that our truth is not only valid, but essential. And with this the mastery of our gifts gets passed on to future generations.

Over time, a deeper current of inner wisdom begins to flow more freely. We begin to trust our inner compass, our intuition, our embodied knowing, our sense of what is true. When called upon, we can speak with clarity and humility, not to impress or dominate, but to illuminate, to offer perspective, to share insight born from integration. In this phase, we become the Wisdom Keepers or Elders of our tribe or community, those who carry not just information, but understanding. Our words come less from ego and more from essence, and others feel this. They don’t just hear what we say, they resonate with the energy behind it.

As our time as an Elder passes we often find ourselves naturally drawn toward quiet and contemplation. We begin to slow down, to look up at the sky more often, to sit beneath trees or walk in silence. The pulse of life, once urgent and demanding, now feels rhythmic and spacious. We begin to sense our deep belonging not just to a community, but to the Earth itself, and beyond that something vast and timeless, what some might call Source, Spirit or the Infinite. And as this connection deepens, a new kind of question arises, subtle and open-ended: “Is there more than this?” sound familiar. It is the question that started us on our journey in the first place.

This question now doesn’t come from lack or dissatisfaction, but from wonder. It bubbles up not from discontent, but from the soul’s natural curiosity. It is as if life, having guided us through survival, safety, self-expression, service, mastery and wisdom is now turning us inward once more, this time not to heal, but to explore the mystery itself. We become pilgrims again, this time not searching for a home in the world, but for our place within the infinite. This is where the journey begins to stretch into the transpersonal domains, the domain of consciousness, unity and the unknown.

In asking this question sincerely “Is there more than this?” we begin to accept more of Reality as it truly is, not as we wish it to be or as we were taught it should be. This expanded acceptance often culminates in a realization event, a shift in awareness, a moment of awakening, a profound insight that reconfigures our relationship to ourselves, to life and to the larger field of Being. With self-actualization as the driving force, all needs are meet so that a self-realization can be experienced ushering us into new stage. Said another way, self-realization acts as a kind of energetic pulse to push us over a threshold, propelling us forward into our next stage of development.

Part 5: The iConscious Model

One of the developmental models that has profoundly influenced my understanding of the transformational path is the iConscious model, created by Ted Strauss and Carole Griggs based on  Ken Wilbers Integral Model. What I appreciate about this model is that it attempts to bridge psychology, spirituality, human development, culture and consciousness into a single evolutionary framework. Rather than seeing awakening as a single event or enlightenment as a final destination, the iConscious model presents growth as a dynamic unfolding through multiple stages of increasing awareness, embodiment, relational capacity and integration. It gives us a map, not to rigidly define ourselves, but to help orient us to where we may be standing and what developmental challenges or opportunities might naturally arise next.

The model consists of 14 developmental stages, grouped into three major phases all informed by the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The dynamics of these stages will be explored over time in this podcast. Each stage follows five distinct domains or streams of development. These include the physical, the emotions, the mind, consciousness and uniqueness. These five domains follow a development arc over the lifetime of an individual and go through distinct changes that are recognizable from stage to stage. Again, in my need to delineate further, I break this up into eight domains. The five that the iConscious model puts forward, but I pull love out of the emotions domain, and I pull power and voice out of the uniqueness domain. I feel that these three extra domains have their own developmental arc that are different from the others and I feel there is a necessity for them to be seen as separate from the others. Either use of the model is fine. An important point to remember is that each of the domains may be in a different stage from the others which can make it hard to figure out which stage one is currently centered in. For example, emotions may be in stage four while consciousness is in stage eight and mind is in stage six.

The first phase of the three is Dual and includes stages one through eight. The Dual Phase is where consciousness experiences itself primarily through separation and identity formation. These early stages are called Survival, Self-centric, Conforming, Rational Striving, Equality Harmony, Inclusive, Awakening and Oscillating. Much of humanity currently operates somewhere within these dualistic stages probably averaging around Stage 4: Rational Striving. In the Dual Phase we learn how to survive, build identity, navigate society, seek success and eventually begin questioning the limitations of purely egoic life. Importantly, none of these stages are “bad”. Each serves a developmental purpose. The problem arises when we become fixated at a particular level or mistake one stage for the entirety of reality.

The second major phase is called Unified which includes stages nine through twelve. This phase is where awakening into deeper consciousness begins to occur. These stages are called Embodied Unity, Transforming, Individuating and Living Potential. The Unified Phase is where many spiritual traditions focus their attention. Individuals may begin experiencing nondual awareness, profound interconnectedness, witness consciousness, energetic openings, mystical experiences and a deepening sense of the sacredness of existence. Yet what is particularly important in the iConscious model is the recognition that stabilizing in our nondual awakening is not the end of the journey. In fact, awakening often initiates an intense period of psychological, emotional and energetic integration. One begins to consciously unwind trauma, conditioning, attachment structures and unconscious patterns at increasingly subtle levels. The path becomes less about acquiring experiences and more about embodying realization fully within ordinary human life.

The third phase is called the Singular and includes stages thirteen and fourteen and beyond. These stages are called Singular Realization and Flow. This phase represents an even deeper stabilization into the flow of life itself. At this level, the sense of separateness softens dramatically, and life begins to move through the individual with less resistance and self-referencing. This does not mean pain disappears or that one becomes superhuman. Rather, there is a profound trust in Being, an increasing transparency of egoic structures, and a greater capacity to participate consciously within the unfolding intelligence of life. Service, creativity, planetary awareness and collective evolution often become central themes. The individual no longer experiences themselves merely as a separate self trying to awaken, but as part of a larger evolutionary movement within consciousness itself.

Another powerful aspect of the iConscious model is its use of the four quadrant view of Integral Theory through which each stage can be understood. These views help us recognize that development is not occurring in just one dimension. The Subjective View includes our thoughts, emotions, beliefs and inner experience. The Observable View is our behaviors, biology, nervous system, and embodiment and how we would be described by someone else. The Relational View is our shared culture, values, relationships and meaning-making systems. And finally, there is the Systemic View which includes social systems, institutions, technologies and structures within which we live. In other words, transformation is not just psychological or spiritual. It is biological, relational, cultural and societal all at once.

What makes this model especially valuable for seekers is that it normalizes the complexity of the path. Many people assume that awakening should instantly solve their problems or permanently eliminate suffering. The iConscious model suggests otherwise. It shows that growth unfolds in waves and spirals, often involving periods of expansion, contraction, integration and reorganization. It reminds us that development is not linear perfection but increasing wholeness. And perhaps most importantly, it offers compassion for where we currently are. Each stage has its dignity, every phase its challenges, and every human being is somewhere within this unfolding evolutionary process.

Part 6: Movement Through the Needs and Stages

The structure of the hierarchy is not linear or finite, it is recursive and ever-expanding. Each stage contains the echoes of the previous ones, but at a more refined vibration. We are not climbing a ladder. We are spiraling upward through evolving dimensions of Being. Each revolution of the spiral invites us to revisit the same essential human needs: the body and safety, relationality and emotions, individuation and power, love and service, voice and esteem, mind and wisdom, consciousness and transcendence, but from a more nuanced, subtle and expansive dimension. In this way, the hierarchy repeats itself ad infinitum, not as a cycle of repetition, but as a spiral of infinite unfolding.

The truth is, we never stop evolving. There is always more of us to meet, more of Reality to embrace, more love to give, more depth to embody. Each new stage humbles us more, requiring us to shed what we thought we knew and to once again surrender to the mystery of becoming. This is the beauty and the challenge of the path: that just when we believe we’ve arrived, we are invited to go deeper. And in doing so, we come to understand that the journey is not about reaching a destination, but about continually expanding our capacity to be with life, in all its richness, complexity and divinity.

This recursive nature of the hierarchy also provides a meaningful resolution to a common critique of Maslow’s original model: that human development does not always follow a tidy, linear progression. When you believe that the human as a whole develops as a whole, this is true, but it doesn’t take into account that multiple domains are developing at their own rate. Because of this many have pointed out that people often exhibit qualities or experiences typically associated with “higher” levels of the hierarchy, even when earlier needs appear to be unmet. For instance, someone may be radiating profound love or creative insight while still struggling with a sense of belonging or basic security. From a linear perspective, this looks inconsistent or anomalous. But through the lens of a recursive, spiraling hierarchy and especially domains at different stages, this seeming contradiction makes perfect sense.

When we shift into a new stage for a particular domain, we carry with us the energetic imprint and capacities cultivated in the previous one. For example, say I’ve just emerged from a stage in which the Heart awakened, perhaps through a deep experience of service, compassion or connection, I may find myself overflowing with love, radiating openness and care. However, having just stepped into a new level of development, I now find myself in unfamiliar terrain. I may not yet feel physically safe or grounded in this new space. The tribe that supported me before may not quite understand where I am now. I may not have yet found the new community or resonance that can hold me at this frequency. So even though my heart is open and available, I may simultaneously feel vulnerable, exposed or even alone. To repeat what I said earlier, each time we move to a new stage we have to start the Hierarchy of Needs from the ground level.

This is the paradox of growth: that we can simultaneously be expanded and unsettled. We do not arrive fully equipped at each new stage. We grow into it. We bring our previous gifts forward, but we must re-establish the foundational elements of the hierarchy within this new context. Belonging at Stage Three does not automatically translate to belonging at Stage Five. Safety at one level doesn’t guarantee safety at the next. We are constantly rebuilding, re-grounding and re-integrating the essentials at every new octave. This is not regression. It is refinement. It is part of the nature of evolving consciousness to move through familiar themes in increasingly subtle, complex and embodied ways.

Understanding this recursive dynamic frees us from the rigid expectations of a step-by-step model. It invites a more compassionate and multidimensional view of human development, one that honors both the beautiful messiness of transformation and the spiritual intelligence underlying it. Just as a tree returns to its roots with every new season of growth, so too do we return to our foundations, each time reaching deeper into the earth and higher toward the sky. We spiral through levels of the hierarchy again and again, not because we are lost, but because life keeps inviting us into more. More presence, more surrender, more love, more truth. And in this infinite spiral, we discover that the journey is not about ascending a fixed ladder, but about becoming more fully alive at every level of being.

Once the drive for Enlightenment awakens within us, a need not born of ego, but of the soul’s yearning to remember its true nature, it becomes the new organizing force that propels us through the hierarchy with renewed momentum. At this point, the drive for self-actualization shifts from being an endpoint to becoming a catalyst moving us through the next spiral of the hierarchy. The insights and self-realizations that emerge at the top of one cycle of the hierarchy don’t signal completion but rather initiate a transition into the next stage of development. What was once the peak becoming the ground for the next unfolding. In this way, the model reveals its true nature as self-perpetuating and self-fulfilling. Each level of awakening gives birth to the next, not because we are chasing perfection, but because consciousness, once stirred, seeks fuller and fuller expression through us and further embodiment. The process becomes less about acquiring and more about uncovering, and the deeper we go, the more natural it becomes to re-enter the hierarchy with curiosity, humility and devotion to the ever-expanding mystery of becoming.

Part 7: The Further Reaches of the Needs Model

In my own work, and particularly through the lens of Trillium Awakening and iConscious, I began to see the Hierarchy of Needs not as ending with the healthy individual, but as evolving toward increasingly embodied, relational and collective forms of consciousness.

Beyond the basic needs, the hierarchy shifts toward what might be called awakening needs. The individual is no longer solely seeking self-esteem or achievement, but direct contact with reality, truth, consciousness, embodiment and deeper relational intimacy. Here, awakening is not viewed as escaping the human condition, but as becoming more profoundly intimate with it. The body becomes important. Emotions become important. Relationships become important. One realizes that transcendence alone is incomplete if it is not integrated into ordinary life. This is where many spiritual traditions diverge. Some continue upward toward transcendence, while embodied paths insist that realization must descend fully into physicality, mutuality and lived experience.

As development deepens further, the hierarchy becomes increasingly collective and planetary in nature. The individual begins to recognize that their personal healing and awakening are not isolated events, but contributions to a larger field of humanity. Service naturally emerges not from obligation, but from interconnectedness. There is a movement from “How do I awaken?” to “How do we evolve together?” Consciousness expands beyond the separate self into relational fields, ecosystems, communities and the living intelligence of the planet itself. The awakening process becomes less about personal attainment and more about participation in the unfolding evolution of life.

And ultimately, the hierarchy opens into Mystery itself. At the furthest edges of development, there is a recognition that no final arrival point exists. Awakening is not a destination where one becomes perfected, but an ongoing deepening into reality as it is. The individual becomes more capable of holding paradox: transcendence and embodiment, individuality and unity, pain and beauty, humanity and divinity. In this modified hierarchy, growth is no longer simply about climbing upward, it is about becoming increasingly whole, increasingly relational and increasingly capable of embodying consciousness within the fragile, beautiful experience of being human.

Part 8: Meditation

Let’s take a few minutes to practice together. Don’t do this if you’re driving or working dangerous machinery. First, find a comfortable position. Let your body settle into your chair or on the ground and feel as if you have roots that extend deep down into the Earth. Close your eyes if you feel safe to do so otherwise keep your eyes open but unfocused. Begin by taking a few deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Allow the exhales to be just a little bit longer than the inhales…And allow each inhale to deepen your internal contact with yourself…Now bring your awareness inward…Notice the sensations in your body…Notice the emotions that may be present beneath the surface of your day. There is nothing to fix and nowhere to get to. Just listening…Now quietly ask yourself: “What do I need right now?”…Not what you should need…Not what others expect you to need…Not what would make you appear strong, spiritual, productive or selfless…Just…what do I truly need?...Perhaps the answer is rest…connection…or space…or maybe simply kindness toward yourself…Allow whatever arises to be enough…If no answer comes, that’s okay too. Sometimes we have spent so long ignoring our needs that the inner voice has grown quiet…Simply sitting here and asking the question is already part of the healing…Take a few slow breaths and imagine offering compassion to the part of yourself that has carried so much for so long. Let yourself know that your needs are not a burden…They are part of being human…Sit with this a while…Now bring yourself back into your room…into your body…When you’re ready, take three conscious deep breaths and open your eyes gently…maintaining that intimate contact with your body.

Part 9: Closing Thoughts

We are all human, and because of that, we all have needs. Having needs is not a sign of weakness, dysfunction, immaturity or spiritual failure, it is simply part of the reality of being alive. Every human being, no matter how awakened, accomplished or self-aware, requires nourishment, safety, connection, meaning and support in various forms. In many spiritual circles, people can begin to feel ashamed of their needs, believing that needing reassurance, rest, love, boundaries or belonging somehow means they are not evolved enough. But this is a misunderstanding of the path. Needs are not obstacles to awakening. They are expressions of the developmental stage and life circumstances we are currently inhabiting. As we grow and transform, our needs naturally evolve. Early in life, we may focus primarily on survival, safety and acceptance. Later, we may long for authenticity, purpose, intimacy, creativity or spiritual realization. The unfolding of our needs reflects the unfolding of consciousness itself. Rather than judging ourselves for having needs, the invitation is to meet them with honesty, compassion and maturity, recognizing that they are part of the ongoing evolution of what it means to be fully human.

Thank you for joining me for this episode of The Three Petals. If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, leave a review, and share your thoughts. Until next time, remember: awakening isn’t something you achieve. It’s something you allow.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Three Petals. To learn more about Jim Trofatter or this podcast and associated blog go to thethreepetals.online where the words the, three and petals are one continuous string of letters. Contact information is on the website.

The Three Petals Podcast is hosted by buzzsprout.com and the podcast and curated transcript can be found at thethreepetals.buzzsprout.com

To learn more about Trillium Awakening go to www.trilliumawakening.org.

Music was written by JK Productions and was obtained free of charge from www.Pond5.com, that’s www. Dot P-O-N-D, the number 5 dot com.

This episode of the Three Petals was developed in conjunction with OpenAI’s ChatGPT.

This is Jim Trofatter and I hope to see you next time on The Three Petals: Where the Infinite Meets the Intimate.