Podcast Episode 15 – The Core Wound

This is The Three Petals podcast hosted by Jim Trofatter. The Three Petals is dedicated to exploring the threefold journey of spiritual awakening, where awareness, embodiment and mutuality intertwine to create a vibrant, transformative life and represents a new paradigm for enlighten living.

In each episode, we’ll delve into what it means to truly inhabit our human experience, while opening our hearts and minds to the infinite nature of consciousness. Whether you’re completely new to this path or have been on a spiritual journey for years, The Three Petals will offer insights, practices, and compassionate guidance to help you deepen your connection with yourself, others, and the world at large. The Three Petals: Where the Infinite meets the Intimate.

Part 1: There Must Be More Than This

Fred walks out of his office at 8:00 in the evening. He’s dazed and numbed after another twelve-hour workday. But it’s Friday and he has the weekend off for once. He has plans on going down the shore. Walking the boardwalks, eating lots of comfort food and maybe sitting on the sand for a couple of hours. It’s what he does whenever he has a free weekend. But something doesn’t feel right about it today. “Is this what my life has become?” he thinks to himself. He’s doing everything his dad told him he was supposed to do in life to be successful and more so. But his heart is aching. Something is missing. No, that’s not it. Rather, something feels broken and it’s been broken for a long time. The job, the shore, the nights doom scrolling, they’re just distractions to keep him from feeling that brokenness.

He can’t quite put into words what this brokenness is. It feels like it’s in his heart but as soon as he touches it, he flinches and backs away. Who the hell wants to touch that amount of pain and angst. Rather to go down the shore than deal with that. So, he shrugs of the discomfort, the existential conundrum and heads to his car. It’s a nice night. He can put down the ragtop and let the cool breeze blow his worries and concerns away. He’ll head down to shore, eat some coney dogs, get some soft serve ice-cream, and life will find a way to not feel so distant and painful.

Hello and welcome to The Three Petals, a podcast dedicated to exploring the synergy of three essential aspects of spiritual awakening: awareness, embodiment, and relationality. I’m your host Jim Trofatter and I’m glad you could join me today. In today’s episode we’re going to explore the the existential experience we call the Core Wound. It’s been with us our whole lives, living just below the surface of awareness, but influencing everything we do because we will do anything and everything not to experience it.

Part 2: Beginning to Name the Core Wound

Let’s begin with how society views the topic of the Core Wound. For most, the Core wound is something that may feel both deeply familiar and, at the same time, a little uncomfortable to name. For many of us, there is a subtle place deep within us that doesn’t quite feel at ease. It is a quiet sense that something is missing or not fully aligned deep within us. It can show up as a faint background tension or, at times, as a more persistent feeling that we are not enough, not whole or not entirely at home in ourselves. This experience is often so woven into our daily lives that we don’t question it. We simply assume it is part of being human and in fact, it is. This inner sense of unease can take many forms. For some, it arises as anxiety or a constant hum beneath the surface or a recurring depression or a need to be constantly on the move. For others, it shows up as the feeling of being unseen or misunderstood, even in the presence of those who care about them the most. It can appear as a deep loneliness that isn’t necessarily resolved by connection or as a quiet comparison that leaves us feeling like we always fall short. At times, it drives us into striving, pushing ourselves to become more or achieve more. There can be a compulsion to prove our worth to ourselves and others, especially others. At other times, it leads to a kind of collapse, where we feel defeated or deflated before we’ve even begun, as though we will never quite measure up. Many people call this experience of distress the Core Wound. The actual meaning that this takes depends on who is trying to define it.

If we explore current literature on the concept of the Core Wound, psychologist or those in the Self-Help industry might give a general definition that sounds like this:

“A core wound refers to a deep emotional scar, often formed in childhood, that shapes a person's beliefs about themselves and their relationships. These wounds, also known as soul wounds, are not superficial but impact the very core of a person's being, leading to recurring negative patterns and a distorted sense of self.”

In most psychological paradigms, the creation of the core wound typically centers around the first experience of separation from unconditional love. This understanding points toward the fact that when love becomes conditional, the young person who is affected by this suddenly feels as if their world is no longer safe. In tribal cultures, this would typically be experienced during exile from the tribe which in olden times usually meant death because no one would be there to watch your back in the wilds. For a modern child, this psychological wound sometimes would be called a “narcissistic wound” because it refers to the very early experience of discovering that they are not the center of unconditional love and safety, the center of the universe but that their existence is vulnerable and dependent on others, and that the perfect mirroring they long for is not fully available at all times. Some might call this a narcissistic injury because it wounds the developing self’s sense of being whole and valuable simply as it is.

This early core wounding leads to the develop of a number of inner core negative beliefs. These are the most deepest and painful things we feel and believe about ourselves. These beliefs such as “I am not enough. I am separate. I have to earn love. I have no worth other than what others give me.” These core beliefs will dictate what we must do in order to belong to the tribe, family, friends or colleagues. They appear in our bodies as muscular contractions or deeply regulated psychological pockets in our psyches. These contractions and pockets hide our authentic self and our essential qualities like love, power, brilliance, because we now know that who we really are is not acceptable by family or society. Hiding our essential qualities in contractions and limited-access domains in our psyches keeps these parts safe, but to maintain them we compensate by creating social masks that we have to wear and continually monitor.

Over time the masks become who we need to be, and we forget about the underlying authentic self that was hidden. However, to hide aspects of yourself takes a tremendous amount of personal energy and is emotionally painful. To suppress one’s authentic nature because others won’t accept us causes lots of strong emotions to arise which must also be suppressed. All of this is unconscious and even though we don’t remember it is there, it is constantly trying to remind us that it is there. The spiritual journey you are beginning to undertake is designed to transform these pockets of protection and safety. This often involves discovering these core pain beliefs and dismantling their unconscious hold on our behaviors. We can begin to uncover them by noticing persistent frustrations, recurring dreams of lack and the negative self-talk that colors our daily lives. Let’s look at three current models of core wounds before we look at the core wound from the point of view of Trillium Awakening. In these examples you will see many aspects of yourself that are starting to arise as you are beginning to look more deeply within yourself.

Part 3: Core Wounds and Masks

Lise Bourbeau identifies five common core wounds. They are Rejection, Abandonment, Humiliation, Betrayal and Injustice. And that they are formed in childhood, often before age 7, when a child feels hurt, abandoned or invalidated in their emotional, physical or psychological needs. She feels that they are so universal that nearly everyone carries some combination of all five of them, though she stresses that usually one or two are dominant. According to Bourbeau, to cope with the pain, a child develops masks, which are defensive behaviors and personality patterns that protect them from feeling the wound but also distance them from their authentic self. The Withdrawal mask arises because of the core wound of Rejection. The Dependent mask arises because of the core wound of Abandonment. The Masochist mask arises because of the core wound of Humiliation. The Controller mask arises because of the core wound of Betrayal and the Rigid mask arises because of the core wound of Injustice.

As Bourbeau writes in her book Heal Your Wounds and Find Your True Self:

“A mask represents a person with a specific character type, because numerous beliefs influencing the attitude and behavior of the person are developed for each mask. We only wear a mask when we want to protect ourselves. The deeper the wound, the more one suffers and the more one will wear their masks.”

The core wound of Rejection arises because of feelings of being rejected or unwanted or believing that one doesn’t have the right to exist. If is often associated as coming from the parent of the same sex and can even arise prenatally in the womb. The beliefs that can go along with this wound are “I don’t belong here.” Or “I have no place here.” The Withdrawal mask is a defense that leads to pulling away emotionally and physically to avoid more pain. It helps one in becoming invisible, isolated or detached. Understanding this wound is important because the withdrawal mask can also become a spiritual bypass, retreating into transcendent states to avoid the raw vulnerability of human contact. Without recognizing and integrating this wound, you may confuse detachment for enlightenment, missing the deeper invitation of awakening: to know oneself as inherently worthy, to belong both in the infinite and in the deeply personal realm of human connection.

The core wound of Abandonment arises because of feelings of being abandoned, left alone, unsupported or emotionally neglected. It is often associated as coming from the parent of the opposite sex, who was inconsistent, unavailable or emotionally distant. The beliefs that can go along with this wound are “I can’t do it alone.” or “I’m not worthy of being cared for.” The Dependent mask is a defense that leads to clinging, neediness and fear of being alone. It leads to one seeking others’ attention and reassurance. Awareness of this wound is essential because it can unconsciously drive the search for awakening toward external saviors such as teachers, communities or relationships, rather than fostering inner sovereignty. If unexamined, you may interpret spiritual intimacy or devotional practice through the lens of dependency, mistaking the relief of being “held” for the freedom of awakening. Recognizing and integrating the abandonment wound allows you to stand in both your vulnerability and inner strength, relating to others and the Divine not from need, but from wholeness.

The core wound of Humiliation arises because of feelings of being shamed, criticized or degraded for one’s needs, desires or natural impulses. It is often related to experiences of being made to feel “bad” or “dirty”, especially around the body, sexuality and self-expression. The beliefs that can go along with this core wound are “I am unworthy.” “I am bad.” or “My needs are shameful.” The Masochist mask is a defense that is self-deprecating, sacrificing, puts others first to earn love and even endures suffering as if it’s deserved. This wound may cause you to unconsciously equate holiness with self-punishment, asceticism or suppression of desire. Instead of approaching awakening as a union with your full humanity, you may attempt to transcend or “purify” the body, seeing it as an obstacle rather than a sacred vessel. Awareness of this wound helps you to untangle authentic humility from self-erasure, allowing you to embrace the body, desire and joy as integral parts of your spiritual path rather than sources of shame.

The core wound of Betrayal arises because of feelings of being betrayed, manipulated or deceived especially if trust was broken or promises were not kept. It is often experienced when a parent was inconsistent, dishonest or lacked integrity. The beliefs that go along with this wound are “I can’t trust others.” or “I must control everything myself.” The wearer of the Controller mask comes across as dominant, skeptical and one who takes charge to avoid being let down. They have difficulty trusting and delegating. This wound can create a hidden barrier to surrender and receptivity, two qualities essential to deep spiritual work. The inability to trust teachers, peers or even the unfolding of life itself can lead to an overly self-reliant and guarded stance on the path. While self-reliance has value, unchecked control can block the softening and openness required for awakening to the deeper flow of Being. Recognizing and working with this wound allows you to gradually release the grip of control, rebuild healthy trust, and cultivate the willingness to be guided by something greater than yourself.

And finally, the core wound of Injustice arises because of feelings of being treated unfairly, judged harshly or not respected for who you are. It is often experienced when parents are rigid, critical, perfectionistic or show favoritism. The beliefs that go along with this core wound are “Life is unfair.” Or “I must prove my worth by being perfect.” The Rigid mask appears as a perfectionist, is emotionally detached, is demanding of self and others and suppresses their feelings to avoid criticism. This wound can quietly fuel a conditional relationship with the self and with awakening, believing that enlightenment, love or worthiness must be earned through flawless performance. This can lead to judgmental attitudes toward your own progress or toward others on the path, blocking the compassion, humility, and openness that deepen realization unleashes in one’s being. By recognizing and healing this wound, you learn to let go of perfectionism, embrace your humanity and rest in your inherent worth and dignity that awakening reveals.

Part 4: Core Wounds and Compensating Mechanisms

Shelley Klammer integrates depth psychology with expressive arts, offering emotionally informed therapeutic practices grounded in compassion and non-pathologizing approaches. She specializes in helping clients uncover and heal core wounds often rooted in early attachment and to reclaim their authentic selves using creative expression, journaling, hypnotherapy and therapeutic art interventions. Her model includes the core wound or negative core belief, a compensating personality and a result of such compensation. She has nine core wounds that reflect many of the everyday critical dialogues we hear in our heads. Let’s look at three of them.

I am Imperfect comes with the statement that there is something wrong with me, therefore, to compensate I must be perfect to prove there is not something wrong with me. The belief is that when I compensate in this way, that is, when I do it perfectly, I will be healed. This core belief can subtly distort the spiritual path, turning awakening into another perfection project and making unconditional self-acceptance seem elusive. It risks trapping you in endless self-correction rather than resting in the wholeness that realization reveals.

I am Worthless comes with the statement that I have no value, therefore, to compensate I must do things that prove that I have worth and value. The belief is that when I compensate in this way, that is, when I give enough to others, I will be healed. This dynamic of giving can quietly distort the path of service and generosity and while such qualities are noble, they may be driven less by authentic love and more by a hidden agenda to secure self-worth.

I Cannot Do or I Cannot Do Enough comes with the statements I cannot do enough. I must have done something bad and that is why I am separate from love. To compensate I must prove that I can do, decide or act so I must act as an over-achiever to prove myself. The belief is that when I compensate in this way, that is, when I accomplish enough, I will be healed. However, this person struggles with over-efficiency and vanity. This pattern of compensation is particularly relevant because spiritual maturation requires the balance of being and doing, recognizing that awakening is not earned through ceaseless action, nor is your value determined by output. Left unchecked, this wound can turn the path into another achievement ladder, obscuring the profound truth that our essential nature is already whole, worthy and unseparated from love, independent of any accomplishments.

For times sake I will just list the other six core wounds. They are I am Inadequate, I am Non-existent, I am Alone, I am Incomplete, I am Powerless and I am Loveless. Many of us can see ourselves in many these core wounds. All of these will appear in expanded form in an essay on the Core Wound that will be found in a book of essays I am working on to complement this podcast, or you can research Shelley Klammer for yourself if you are interested in her work.

Part 5: Basic Perinatal Matrices

Stanislav Grof is a transpersonal psychiatrist, formulated a comprehensive “cartography” of the psyche that includes the perinatal or birth level of consciousness and the transpersonal realms, integrating insights from psychology, spirituality and mystical traditions. His model of the Basic Perinatal Matrices, or BPMs as they are called, revolutionized the understanding of how birth experiences shape personality, emotional patterns and even the trajectory of spiritual awakening.

These four matrices offer the spiritual seeker a profound framework for understanding how the earliest experiences of birth imprint the psyche, shape emotional patterns and influence the trajectory of one’s inner journey. Grof believed that these early experiences during the perinatal period have a profound impact, creating deep imprints on the individual's psyche and influencing their future development, behavior and emotions. Trauma experienced during these stages, such as a difficult birth or the use of anesthesia, can be linked to later psychological and emotional difficulties like suicidal ideation, addiction or a lack of motivation. These matrices map the stages of the birth process to deep psychological and transpersonal themes that continue to echo throughout one’s life.

BPM I The Amniotic Universe: This matrix represents the period of undisturbed intrauterine existence, ideally characterized by oceanic oneness and symbiotic union with the mother. If the prenatal environment was stressful such as if there was a maternal illness, emotional distress, toxins or even an unwanted pregnancy, you may grow up with a subtle or pervasive sense that “something is wrong” at the most basic level. This can manifest as existential anxiety, difficulty trusting the universe, feeling unsafe even in safe conditions and spiritual bypassing in search of “lost paradise”. You may compulsively chase peak experiences or mystical unity as a way to recreate the missing primal bliss, without addressing the underlying lack of felt safety in the body.

BPM II Cosmic Engulfment and No Exit: This stage marks the onset of labor, where the fetus experiences disturbing uterine contractions against a closed cervix, leading to feelings of being trapped and helplessness. If early life or birth involved prolonged distress without movement toward resolution, for example being “stuck” in the birth canal or a medical intervention that caused immobilization, you may carry deep-seated feelings of hopelessness, claustrophobia or being trapped in life. Spiritually, this can lead to despair during crises, resistance to surrender, or fear of facing the “void” in meditation. On the other extreme, it can fuel compulsive escape patterns such as overwork, addiction or constant distraction, to avoid re-entering the emotional imprint of “no way out”.

BPM III The Death-Rebirth Struggle: This matrix is associated with the active propulsion through the birth canal, a period of intense struggle, pressure and potential anoxia. It is linked to experiences of impending death and a powerful death-rebirth sensation. If the birth process was chaotic, overly violent or accompanied by panic created by a medical emergency or an aggressive extraction, the imprint may lead to patterns of aggressive striving, distrust of others’ support or equating transformation only with intense struggle. Spiritually, this can show up as repeatedly creating crises in order to feel “alive” or believing that awakening must be a heroic battle. It can also leave unresolved rage toward perceived oppressors, parents, authority figures or even “God”, which can block the heart from opening. In addition, if your mother was given medicines to relax her at that phase, your body also relaxed and you may have a pattern of giving up just before the completion of projects, jobs, relationships, etc. This is a pattern that I particularly can relate to.

BPM IV The Birth and Liberation Experience: This final matrix corresponds to the moment of emergence from the birth canal, symbolizing liberation and the potential for a new beginning. It is associated with the experience of ego death and rebirth. If the birth conclusion was compromised for example by separation from the mother or being rushed away for medical intervention or a cold or sterile first contact, the joy of liberation may be undercut by feelings of anticlimax, abandonment or emptiness. This can lead to a life pattern of sabotaging or under-enjoying success, feeling flat after spiritual breakthroughs or unconsciously avoiding “arrival” because the end of the journey is also associated with loss. For you, this means you may resist fully inhabiting the fruits of awakening, continually looking for the “next” transformation instead of integrating the one they’ve just had.

Recognizing these imprints can illuminate the hidden roots of recurring emotional states, fears and life patterns that may otherwise be mistaken for purely “personal” problems. Grof’s work reveals that spiritual crises, ecstatic openings and dark nights often carry the energetic signatures of these perinatal experiences and that deep spiritual practice can sometimes re-activate and integrate them. By working consciously with the BPMs through breathwork, somatic release or other integrative modalities, you can release primal tensions, resolve unresolved birth trauma and access the profound resilience and expanded consciousness that often emerges when these foundational imprints are healed. In this way, understanding the BPMs becomes not only a key to personal transformation but also a gateway to a more embodied, stable band deeply rooted awakening.

To summarize, Bourbeau’s, Klammer’s and Grof’s models provide profound insights into the human condition. They help explain recurring emotional pain and dysfunctional patterns of behavior. Importantly, these psychological wounds are not superficial but deeply embodied, shaping our sense of self and others. They are deep wounds of our psyche based on trauma, childhood conditioning and societal formation, but they are still typically related to “ego” and psychological brokenness. I am presenting them here as a sample of the potential avenues that you might explore during your spiritual journey. Begin to listen to the words you use to describe your “reality” and see if some can be mapped back to patterns listed here. Also, pay attention to behavioral and emotional patterns that might relate to these models. Having a framework in which to start exploring can accelerate your evolution and lead to a more rapid and deeper recognition of those unconscious patterns.

Part 6: Another Way of Looking at the Core Wound

The Trillium Awakening perspective on the Core Wound adds another dimension. It is not simply the result of trauma or developmental failure. Saniel Bonder, the lineage holder of the Waking Down in Mutuality work on which Trillium Awakening is informed and modelled, well-articulated this aspect of the path, describing the Core Wound as the very essence of our humanity, an existential split at the center of our being. In his words:

 “This Core Wound is not something that is merely happening to us. Nor is it in any way a superficial distress. It comprises the essence of what we humans are. To link these great themes together, the Spirit/Matter split is, in turn, the essence of that Core Wound. And it’s also true to say that the Core Wound is the essence of the Spirit/Matter split!”

In the Trillium Awakening work, this pervasive and often unnamed experience was originally referred to as the Core Wound, though it has now taken on the larger context of Core Paradox. The reason for this will become more apparent in a moment. It is not a single event or a simple psychological pattern rooted solely in our personal history or early life experiences, but rather a fundamental way of experiencing ourselves in relation to life. While it’s true that childhood plays a significant role in shaping how it shows up, the Core Wound goes deeper than any single event or developmental phase. It is the felt sense of separation, lack or disconnection that quietly shapes how we think, feel and relate to the world around us. Because it is so deeply embedded, it can feel like an unquestionable truth about who we are. And yet, the Core Wound is not something to be eliminated or fixed. Instead of being seen as a problem, it is something to be understood, something that holds within it a deeper doorway into our experience of being human. In this exploration, we are not setting out to repair ourselves, but to become more intimate with what is already here. And in doing so, we may begin to discover that even this most vulnerable place within us carries something unexpectedly meaningful, perhaps even something sacred.

At its heart, the Core Wound carries the impression that I am here…and life is somehow over there. There is a subtle but persistent sense that we are not fully connected, not entirely safe and not completely at home in our own existence. This sense of disconnection can be difficult to articulate, yet it shapes so much of our inner life. It influences how we relate to others, how we move through the world, and how we interpret our place within it. This experience takes on different forms depending on the individual. For some, it feels like abandonment, a deep fear that connection will be lost or taken away. For others, it manifests as invisibility, a sense of not being seen or recognized for who they truly are. Still others experience it as a constant pressure to perform or to become someone who is finally “enough”. These variations can seem very different on the surface, yet they all arise from the same underlying dynamic. Beneath all these expressions lies a common thread: a sense of being separate from what we most deeply long for. Whether that longing is for love, belonging, safety or truth, the Core Wound carries the feeling that what we seek is somehow just out of reach. It is this tension between what is felt and what is longed for, that becomes one of the central drivers of the human experience.

Part 7: The Spirit / Matter Split

I mentioned the Spirit / Matter split a moment ago. What do I mean by this split? In the context of spiritual work, particularly within traditions like Waking Down in Mutuality and Trillium Awakening, the Spirit / Matter split refers to a deeply rooted way of experiencing reality as divided between two domains: the transcendent and the embodied, the infinite and the finite, consciousness and physical form. This split is not just philosophical. It is lived and existential. Many people experience themselves as awareness “inside” a body or even as something more aligned with the spaciousness of consciousness than with the density and vulnerability of the physical world. In this orientation, Spirit is often associated with clarity, freedom, unity and peace, while matter, especially the body, is associated with limitation, pain, instinct and imperfection.

This division shows up in subtle but powerful ways. We may unconsciously privilege transcendence over embodiment, seeking liberation through rising above the messiness of human life rather than entering more fully into it. Spiritual practices can reinforce this tendency when they emphasize detachment, disidentification or the idea that the body is something to move beyond. As a result, the physical dimension of our being, that is, our sensations, emotions, sexuality and relational needs, can be minimized, bypassed or even rejected. The body becomes something to manage rather than something to inhabit. In this way, the Spirit / Matter split can create a kind of internal exile, where parts of ourselves are left behind in the pursuit of awakening.

At the same time, modern culture often swings in the opposite direction, identifying almost exclusively with matter reducing human experience to biology, chemistry and material processes. In this view, consciousness is seen as a byproduct of the brain, and any sense of transcendence is dismissed or pathologized. Here, the split remains, but the emphasis is reversed: Spirit is denied in favor of matter. Whether we elevate Spirit and reject matter or elevate matter and dismiss Spirit, the result is the same, a fragmentation of our lived experience.

This Spirit / Matter split is the Core Wound that leads to the existential suffering often arises from the deeply felt perception that we are somehow cut off from the divine, from source, from the very ground of being itself. Again, it can manifest as a quiet but persistent sense of isolation, as if we are separate fragments moving through a vast and indifferent universe, longing for a connection we cannot quite touch. It may show up as meaninglessness, a subtle despair or an aching search for something “more” that never seems fully attainable. Even in moments of success, love or beauty, there can remain an undercurrent of incompleteness as though something essential is missing. From this perspective, the human experience becomes a kind of exile, where we feel removed from the wholeness we intuitively sense must exist. Some might call this the profound longing of the Soul trying to reconnect and merge back into the Divine or Source. This very longing, this pain of separation, can also be the doorway, the impulse that drives the search for reconnection, awakening and the eventual recognition that what we believed we were separate from has never truly been absent.

The invitation within paths that emphasize embodied awakening is therefore not to choose one side over the other, but to realize their unity within our own being. This means recognizing that consciousness is not separate from the body, and that the body is not separate from consciousness. The infinite expresses itself as the finite. The transcendent lives as the immanent. Awakening, in this view, is not an escape from physicality but a deep inhabiting of it, where awareness and embodiment are no longer at odds. From this perspective then, the Core Wound is not just psychological pain but the felt existential tension of being simultaneously finite and infinite, human and divine, matter and spirit. However, unlike psychological wounds, which can be healed or resolved over time, this existential wound is intrinsic to the human experience. It cannot be “fixed” or even “healed” but can be embraced and our relationship to it transformed.

Part 8: The Core Paradox or Mystery

The Spirit / Matter split begins to dissolve not through transcendence alone, but through integration. With the realization that what we are is both fully human and fully beyond the human, simultaneously grounded and boundless. Over time, the Core Wound takes on the flavor of a Paradox because one’s relationship to it changes. With practice, awakening and support, it becomes possible to experience the Core Wound as something larger, the recognition that we are both profoundly limited and utterly limitless at the same time.

This paradox eventually deepens into the Core Mystery, a source of wonder and intimacy with life. Rather than seeking to resolve the tension, the awakened individual learns to rest within it, experiencing both its contraction and its expansion as equally real, equally sacred. The transformation of the Core Wound into the Core Paradox and then Mystery does not happen by escaping it but by meeting it fully through presence, acceptance and loving inquiry. Embodied awakening makes the tension conscious and no longer something to “solve” or transcend. Instead, it becomes a doorway into the deepest intimacy with oneself and with the cosmos. The journey through these layers of wounding, paradox and mystery is not linear and not easy. It asks of us an immense humility and willingness to meet what we have spent a lifetime avoiding. Yet it also offers the profound gift of becoming more fully human and more fully divine, resting in the awareness that both are always present.

Whereas psychological models tend to focus on healing and integration of childhood trauma and compensatory patterns, the embodied awakening approaches integrate this healing work while pointing toward a more fundamental, unresolvable tension at the heart of being. Both perspectives are valuable, and in many cases, one must first do considerable psychological work before they are ready to fully encounter the deeper existential mystery. The Core Wound / Paradox / Mystery represents the deepest truth of our human condition. It begins as pain and confusion, moves through insight and paradox, and can open into wonder, intimacy and mystery. The process is not about fixing ourselves but about discovering that even our most painful splits are sacred expressions of the infinite exploring itself through us. This is why I use the phrase “Where the Infinite meets the Intimate” as the byline for this podcast.

Part 9: Meditation

Let’s take a few minutes to practice together. Don’t do this if you’re driving or working dangerous machinery. First, find a comfortable position. Let your body settle into your chair or on the ground and feel as if you have roots that extend deep down into the Earth. Close your eyes if you feel safe to do so otherwise keep your eyes open but unfocused. Begin by taking a few deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Allow the exhales to be just a little bit longer than the inhales…And allow each inhale to deepen your internal contact with yourself…Now try to settle into any sense of “offness” that may lie somewhere deep within you…It might be centered in your heart or your belly or just your muscles…Notice any angst or discomfort or even pain…It’s always there…Notice any sense of self-judgment that arises when you touch into it…Just feel, hear, see what arises…There is no need to fix it…Don’t dissociate from it…Don’t try to rationalize why it’s there…Just be with any discomfort…Acknowledging it can often lead to a relaxation around it…It’s nothing to get rid of… It is the core angst at the center of our being…It is you believing you need to do something to be whole, even though you already are…Sit with this a while…Now bring yourself back into your room…into your body…When you’re ready, take three conscious deep breaths and gently open your eyes maintaining that intimate contact with your body.

Part 10: Closing Thoughts

In connection to the Three Petals, the Core Wound can become something seen by awareness, it can be felt directly through the body and will definitely be experienced deeply in relationship to others. So, let’s return to where we began, that quiet, often unspoken sense that something is not quite right. Rather than seeing it as a flaw or a mistake, what if we began to consider that it might be something else entirely? What if it is not a problem to be solved, but a doorway, an opening into deeper awareness, deeper embodiment and deeper connection with ourselves, and the world around us? There is no need to resolve it today, no urgency to fix or fully understand it. Instead, you might simply begin to notice it, gently and with care, meeting it with kindness rather than resistance. Because in many ways, the manner in which you meet this wound whether with judgment or with compassion shapes how the path itself begins to unfold before you.

Thank you for joining me for this episode of The Three Petals. If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, leave a review, and share your thoughts. Until next time, remember: awakening isn’t something you achieve. It’s something you allow.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Three Petals. To learn more about Jim Trofatter or this podcast and associated blog go to thethreepetals.online where the words the, three and petals are one continuous string of letters. Contact information is on the website.

The Three Petals Podcast is hosted by buzzsprout.com and the podcast and curated transcript can be found at thethreepetals.buzzsprout.com

To learn more about Trillium Awakening go to www.trilliumawakening.org.

Music was written by JK Productions and was obtained free of charge from www.Pond5.com, that’s www. Dot P-O-N-D, the number 5 dot com.

This episode of the Three Petals was developed in conjunction with OpenAI’s ChatGPT.

This is Jim Trofatter and I hope to see you next time on The Three Petals: Where the Infinite Meets the Intimate.